Effective leadership = Self-differentiated leadership


Effective leadership is one where the leader has clearly defined boundaries with the group they lead so they can make hard decisions without emotional ties to the group. Leading is an emotional process of regulating one’s own anxiety because effective leaders use clear goals, clear measurement of behaviors, and facts to lead decisions and, when needed, crucial conversations that lead to desired change results. If the leader is a self differentiated leader, the culture of the organization will be a safe space to share ideas and stories that can be respectfully discussed and actions can be agreed upon, because the leader has the needed perspective to make difficult decisions and have crucial conversations. 

Crucial conversations have high stakes, strong emotions, and differing opinions, and is a strategy to get desired results in a safe space where everyone feels heard and respected. These conversations help us to “get unstuck”, stay focused, watch for content and conditions simultaneously, build safety, control our emotions, speak persuasively and respectfully, listen, and commit to unified action. In order to have crucial conversations, the leader needs to know and communicate clearly what the desired goals and vital behaviors to achieve those results are, while maintaining boundaries with the group. It is important to learn the facts and not assume anything. Keeping the focus on the facts and the goal(s) will navigate the crucial conversations in the right direction, to achieve desired results and get everyone back on track.

Resources:

Bardwell, M. (2010, November 10). Friedman’s Theory of Differentiated Leadership Made

Simple [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgdcljNV-Ew

Grenny, J., Patterson, K., McMillan, R., et al. (2021). Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking

When Stakes are High, Third Edition. McGraw-Hill Education.  


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